Saturday, October 3, 2009
My goal was this: at 30, I would have bought my own Honda Civic (I really love this car!), bought either a house and/or condo unit and would have saved up for my early retirement (I really wouldn't like to work until I'm 50.) Seems impossible. But this has been my calling ever since 2004.
At first, you would think that it will take 20 or 30 or more years to be able to accomplish this. You'd be thinking of working abroad because that's the "easiest" way to achieve this. But my mentor offered me a different advice. After listening to him and watching him do it, I realized that there is an alternative solution to this.
I listened to him and as I have said, to other friends who were willing to help me also. Realizing that I can get to my goals gave me the driving force. Everything seems to be a breeze. But it didn't last that long. I've encountered failures. I got rejected many times. It wasn't easy as I have said. I have lost that driving force.
Aside from that, being young and impulsive, I wasn't really focusing on the long term. My goals were short term and middle term. But after two years, and after reaching most of these short and middle term goals, I have no choice but to look for the long term. Say, 10 years from now?
That's what makes me so excited right now. I'm back on track and ready to conquer new heights. I'm more focused and mature than two years ago. I think I am also more equipped mentally and emotionally to accept the challenges that will come my way. That's the spirit. And I believe, after 10 years (or probably even less than that), I would have made it. There's no more turning back.
Friday, August 28, 2009
It was a cold night. The dry leaves rustled as a gentle breeze passed by. The night was eerily silent except for some occasional howls of distant dogs or cry of a midnight bird.
It was a cold, dark night. There was no moon, only stars. Stars shining like cut diamonds polished a hundred, no a thousand times. Like cut diamonds shining against the dark blue sky. The dark blue sky made them shine brighter.
With both hands in my pocket, I looked at the sky. I tried to count the stars. Stupid, I know, but I couldn't think of anything else to do but to count them. And count them I did. Without success of course. As the wind blew, I shivered. Cold as hell, I muttered to myself. I was just in a cotton shirt and walking shorts.
I was at around 150 or 170 when the clouds blocked my view; I forgot what number I was at. The wind blew harder until there was nothing in the sky but the clouds.
I thought it was gonna rain. I hoped that it would but it didn't. I was ready to leave because there were no more stars to count. But I stayed a little longer.
Then another gust of the wind cleared the sky. There were the stars again. Shining like before. Like cut diamonds shining against the dark blue sky. I tried to count them again. With enthusiasm at first, but the enthusiasm waned. Once more I lost count. This time I turned my back.
I walked home with the stars shining behind me. Under the dark blue sky.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
(Ni Engr. Pedro Antonio V. Javier bilang Apolinario Mabini)
Ang nais ng Katipunan nung ito’y buo pa,
ay di lang palayain ang bayan, mula as Kastila
Kundi baguhin din ang moralidad ng bawat Pilipino
Bilang paghanda pag kalaya’ay natamo,
Ang kapangyarihang makukuha ay magamit ng wasto
Subalit di pa man nakakamit ang kalayaay nagwatak na ang Pilipino.
Nung manalo si Aguinaldo laban kay Bonifacio,
Ang mga kurakot, mga kampi ng kastila,
mga matalino‘t subalit masasamang tao, ay naibalik as pwesto!
Kayat natalo man ang kastila, pero ang tunay na kalayaan, ay di parin natatamo
Ngunit, as kabila ng lahat, ang pinagtataka ko
May nakikita parin akong pag-asa as mga Pilipino
Ito’y dahil as mga mabubuting taong tulad nyo.
Ang taong tulad nyo, as kabila ng pagiging salat as yaman,
walang malalaking bahay, o magagarbong sasakyan
Ang iba’y di mapag-aral ang anak as pribadong paaralan
Nanaisin paring maglingkod bilang kawal ng bayan
Habang ang ibang ama’y nasa piling ng kanlang mahal as buhay
Tuwing Father’s day, Valentines o kaya’y Pasko
Kayo naman, ay narito, nasa foxhole o nasa campo
Nagmamasid baka may kalaban,
nagbabantay ng kapayapaan
Di man ito napapansin ng taong bayan.
Pagmay bagyo, lindol o anumang sakuna
Sa rescue operation kayo pangay kasama
Bakit, ang mahal nyo as buhay, di ba nasalanta?
Uunahin pa ang Bayan, kaysa sariling pamilya
Naalala nyo pa ba nung kayo’y tawagin
Report up for duty, dapat ngayon din!
Ika’y padadala as
Maraming kalaban ay iyong sasagupain
Iyong paalam, “Anak magpakabait ka
Lagi kang mag-aaral at sundin ang iyong ina”
Wika ng anak:Itay wag kanang umalis pawang awa mo na
Manood nalang tayo ng “Zoro” at “Tayong Dalawa”
(from here nag adlib ako: “Nanonood ba kayo ng “Tayong Dalawa”? Si Dave at saka si JR?” The audience smiled, “Buhay pa nga yung kapatid nila eh., sino nga ba yun?” Mayroong sumagot as mga sundalo, at sabi “Si Ramon!” (Uy updated sila ah… nanonood ng tele serye, he-he), the audience began to laugh including the Chief of Staff, but I have to cut & continue my speech….)
Dumating na ang Labanan, nagsimula na ang putukan
Isa, dalawa tatlo, patay ang kalaban
At biglang “BANG!”, ika’y tinamaan
Bumagsak as lupa, duguang katawan
Dyos ko, pamilya ko’y wag nyo sanang pabayaan
Sa labanan taya nyo ang inyong buhay
Paggawa ng tungkulin, isang pa’ay nasa hukay
Ilang beses man kayong masugatan.
Di nyo ito pinagsisisihan.
Babalik parin as labanan,
Manatili lang ang kalayaan.
Ang sundalong sugatan,
Umi-ibayo ang tapang!
Ang tanong ko, bakit nyo ito ginagawa
Wala namang kapalit na salapi?
Pagkat naniniwala ang mga taong tulad nyo
Na ang kabutihan ay di nabibili.
Ang mga nabanggit kanina ni Heneral
na magandang bagay as aking pagkatao
Ay higit parian ang aking nakikita sa inyong mga puso
Kaya’t kinararangal ko….., KAYO!
Mabuhay ang Sugatang Sundalo!
Mabuhay ang Kawal Pilipino!
Friday, August 14, 2009
One thing I noticed about working is that you lose track of what time of the year it is. It seems to make no difference whether it’s February or June or October. I guess the only time frame office workers recognize is December- when there are hefty paychecks and equally long list of expenses.
It’s not like when you were a student when there are lots of signs that says it’s another season, it’s another phase in your life. Something ends, something starts. Like by this time, when the temperature starts to rise, finals are starting to get scheduled. Like if you’re craving for icy Coke, you know you have a 2-hour summer class in a hot afternoon. And when you smell those funny-smelling trees or see higads you know it’s first sem and it’s going to rain soon. And when it’s cold, you know there’ll be the Lantern Parade, the Dakdakan, the Maskipaps and the Running Oblation. You’ll know you’ll be another year older when you don’t see other people you used to see in school anymore. You know it’s a new start when you get a Form 5 and stand in long lines for classes. You know it’s going to be an ending when you pass that paper or get that class card.
There was satisfaction to that kind of life. Like your life is made up of these sub-lives, each with a story of its own, with a start and end of its own, its own memories, its own characters, its own soundtrack. And its own learnings. Somehow it’s easier to look back and see everytime a sub-life ends - what happened to you, what good things, what bad things--- what things you can change to make the next sub-life better.
Well, it’s so different now. Life has just become so... big. You can’t just cut it into chapters as easily as you used to. Like February doesn’t seem to hold any more meaning than May or August does. Being cooped up inside the office also makes you fail to realize, “oh, it’s getting warmer outside” or “look, it’s 6 o’clock and it’s still so bright” or “the first drop of rain this season!”. There is an eerie sameness to each day. Sometimes it even takes me so long to realize that June is when a new schoolyear starts and my brother is going to high school by then.
Somehow, it’s just music now that tells you - music that serves as your time keeper, and puts these light marks which chops your life into more comprehensible chunks. Or perhaps the people who at some point was part of your life but eventually left, they too help put it in chronological order. But apart from that, nothing seems to make one day different from the other anymore. Nothing sets one week apart from the next. Or the months. And knowing my life, probably even the years.
Is it the whole routine of working, this neverending routine, or is it just me?
Thursday, August 13, 2009
As I float away towards the gathering dust.
The pink dog, the day by day hurdles
Sharp images blunted by surrounding crust.
All of a sudden, the floor started to sprawl
And I panicked losing sight of the beautiful speck.
The pained faces, the silent desperation
Blunted images sharpened by the haunting reality check.
- B-side (e=mc^2)
- jipre (Gelatin Silver World)
- selenakyle (the cat whisperer)
- rdangel (trends spotting)
- leela (Pinay and money)
- suicidedoll (melovesflying)
- judz (Anooping and then some)
- lateralus (Atheista)
- PogingNilalang (conflict of interest)
- boomslang (My thoughts exactly)
- avalanche (Caffeinated Dreams)
- romina (I-Speak)
- mars (marsheemarsh)
- pendong (ekstrangero)
- tqbfjotld (neloblogs)
- claudine (of life and an angel)